While being educated and financially independent is helping urban Indian women to now walk out of dysfunctional relationships, there are several social stigmas that endanger their chances of living a normal life post divorce. This article is an attempt to change this mindset of the society at large which considers a divorced woman to be 'substandard'.
You views on the subject would go a long way in helping this change to take place!
Click on the title to read my detailed article or paste the following link in the address bar of your web browser http://www.the-nri.com/index.php/2010/06/till-death-do-us-part/
Showing posts with label Indian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Indian. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Changing Mindsets - The rise of the urban Indian woman
Urban Indian women have turned the mindsets of their generation and are surging forward towards farther horizons of success and progress. It will be, we can hope, only a matter of time when women of rural India can join in this wave of change.
Click on the title to read my detailed article or paste the following link in the address bar of your web browser http://indialeadership.net/2010/06/changing-mind-sets-the-rise-of-the-urban-indian-woman/
Click on the title to read my detailed article or paste the following link in the address bar of your web browser http://indialeadership.net/2010/06/changing-mind-sets-the-rise-of-the-urban-indian-woman/
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Inadequate police force a problem - Chidambaram
The Indian Home Minister P. Chidambaram admitted today what every man, woman and child in Indian cities knows.
'Policing a country of over 1.1 billion people is not an easy task. Policing a country in a troubled neighbourhood makes the task more difficult. And policing a country with insufficient police stations and inadequate and an ill-equipped police force makes the task almost formidable,' Chidambaram said in a speech at the 40th All India Police Science Congress in Raipur.
This isn't news for the common man. We have known this fact for years now, haven't we? Still, thank you Mr. Home Minister for acknowledging it!
However, we still need to acknowledge that the situation is REALLY bad because a whole lot of this inadequate force is busy taking bribes and freebies from city shops and vendors.
I have already written about constables taking bribes from road side vendors.
http://afshanwondering.blogspot.com/2010/05/indian-blasphemy-constable-takes-bribe.html
In Bangalore, the law states that all liquor shops, bar, lounges, basically any place serving alcohol, should close business by 11pm each night. It is the police's job to ensure that this law is followed. Most Indian's reading this will be able to predict what REALLY happens. Yes, instead of enforcing the law, the police have 'tie ups' with shops and vendors who pay them a monthly fee to keep their business running beyond the deadline. This is, of course, in addition to the free drinks the police get to pick up from them. Just hop on a bike and go through the streets of Bangalore at 11pm. You will be able to see the live action of what I have related here.
So, Mr. Home Minister, while you try to increase the police force and equip them better, it would be a good idea to put them through some moral training as well. Otherwise, you could keep adding to the force and people will end up with more corrupt pockets to fill.
'Policing a country of over 1.1 billion people is not an easy task. Policing a country in a troubled neighbourhood makes the task more difficult. And policing a country with insufficient police stations and inadequate and an ill-equipped police force makes the task almost formidable,' Chidambaram said in a speech at the 40th All India Police Science Congress in Raipur.
This isn't news for the common man. We have known this fact for years now, haven't we? Still, thank you Mr. Home Minister for acknowledging it!
However, we still need to acknowledge that the situation is REALLY bad because a whole lot of this inadequate force is busy taking bribes and freebies from city shops and vendors.
I have already written about constables taking bribes from road side vendors.
http://afshanwondering.blogspot.com/2010/05/indian-blasphemy-constable-takes-bribe.html
In Bangalore, the law states that all liquor shops, bar, lounges, basically any place serving alcohol, should close business by 11pm each night. It is the police's job to ensure that this law is followed. Most Indian's reading this will be able to predict what REALLY happens. Yes, instead of enforcing the law, the police have 'tie ups' with shops and vendors who pay them a monthly fee to keep their business running beyond the deadline. This is, of course, in addition to the free drinks the police get to pick up from them. Just hop on a bike and go through the streets of Bangalore at 11pm. You will be able to see the live action of what I have related here.
So, Mr. Home Minister, while you try to increase the police force and equip them better, it would be a good idea to put them through some moral training as well. Otherwise, you could keep adding to the force and people will end up with more corrupt pockets to fill.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
We are colour crazy hypocrites: Who cares what colour Michelle Obama's dress was??
Of all the things to kick up a fuss about!!!
People dying of hunger? - No sweat.
Terrorists blowing up people? - Big deal, happens all the time.
Human rights being violated around the globe? - So?
Michelle Obama's fashion designer Naeem Khan calls her dress 'Nude' and a newspaper calls it 'Flesh, but it’s not the colour of her skin? - How dare they! Its a crime against humanity. It’s racist. It’s discriminatory. I'm offended!
Yes, I AM offended. Not because someone was a little careless in choosing his words to describe a piece of fashion but because it gained so much limelight! Seriously, I am certain that, if we looked around a bit, we would find some bit of news more worthy of first page coverage than Michelle Obama's dress and how Naeem Khan or some newspaper described it. But then again, the media reports what the common people want to hear. Even news channels and prints have a TRP to maintain. If they highlight such trivial issues, it is because WE give it that level of importance.
We, the people of the world, are obsessed with the colour of skin. We are bothered about what others think of what hue or shade of brown we are. WE are the hypocrites who rave and cry when someone calls us black or brown and claim that we are being discriminated against. Yet, we are the first to try out the latest fairness creams to hit the market! It is WE who fuel the fire of racism by considering ourselves inferior just because our skins are darker. It is WE who are discriminating against ourselves.
Think about the last time you sat through a 5 minute break time between some Ekta Kapoor soap opera and DID NOT come across the promo of some fairness miracle or the other. Soon after being crowned Miss Universe, the dusky Lara Dutta was seen in the promo of one of Garnier’s fairness products. More recently, the actress Kajol is appearing in some age defying product’s advert in which she is portrayed as being ridiculously fair. I don’t remember seeing a Naomi Campbell or Tyra Banks in a fairness product commercial.
Its about time we stopped being two faced about our colour consciousness. Either we are not happy with our own skin or we are so proud of it that casual statements describing a dress are offensive.
Make up your mind!
People dying of hunger? - No sweat.
Terrorists blowing up people? - Big deal, happens all the time.
Human rights being violated around the globe? - So?
Michelle Obama's fashion designer Naeem Khan calls her dress 'Nude' and a newspaper calls it 'Flesh, but it’s not the colour of her skin? - How dare they! Its a crime against humanity. It’s racist. It’s discriminatory. I'm offended!
Yes, I AM offended. Not because someone was a little careless in choosing his words to describe a piece of fashion but because it gained so much limelight! Seriously, I am certain that, if we looked around a bit, we would find some bit of news more worthy of first page coverage than Michelle Obama's dress and how Naeem Khan or some newspaper described it. But then again, the media reports what the common people want to hear. Even news channels and prints have a TRP to maintain. If they highlight such trivial issues, it is because WE give it that level of importance.
We, the people of the world, are obsessed with the colour of skin. We are bothered about what others think of what hue or shade of brown we are. WE are the hypocrites who rave and cry when someone calls us black or brown and claim that we are being discriminated against. Yet, we are the first to try out the latest fairness creams to hit the market! It is WE who fuel the fire of racism by considering ourselves inferior just because our skins are darker. It is WE who are discriminating against ourselves.
Think about the last time you sat through a 5 minute break time between some Ekta Kapoor soap opera and DID NOT come across the promo of some fairness miracle or the other. Soon after being crowned Miss Universe, the dusky Lara Dutta was seen in the promo of one of Garnier’s fairness products. More recently, the actress Kajol is appearing in some age defying product’s advert in which she is portrayed as being ridiculously fair. I don’t remember seeing a Naomi Campbell or Tyra Banks in a fairness product commercial.
Its about time we stopped being two faced about our colour consciousness. Either we are not happy with our own skin or we are so proud of it that casual statements describing a dress are offensive.
Make up your mind!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Indian Blasphemy: Constable takes bribe from road side vendors
There is a lot of talk going on in the Indian leadership circles about what needs to be changed about India in order to push its progress. Amongst the suggestions thrown up was education for all, control of population, personal responsibility, a better government and so on. One of the most common suggestions was the annihilation of corruption. Makes sense, doesn't it? Easier said than done? But what I witnessed two days ago made me realize anew just how close to impossible this task is.
There I was, with my mom, shopping in the Shivajinagar bazaar in Bangalore. It was 4 o' clock in the afternoon and the area was packed with avid shoppers. The heat was unbearable so we stopped and picked up two kala khaTTa golas (Ice popsicles) which a little boy was selling for ten rupees each. Next to his stall was a man who was selling popcorn on a cart. We took our golas and moved aside to cool off. That’s when this pot bellied police constable strolled up to the man selling popcorn. He picked up a packet and in turn asked the vendor to pay him 50 rupees. The vendor smiled cordially and while indulging in small talk, stealthily handed the amount to the police man. The vendor seemed more eager to cover up this act than the law enforcer.
The constable then moved on and collected a gola and another 50 rupees from the boy selling them. All this happened in broad day light, in front of all the people present in the vicinity. What bugged me the most, was the attitude with the constable collected the bribes. He held his head high, behaved as though he was doing the vendors a favour, swinging his cane baton all the time.
The constable moved on. We finished our golas and went ahead with our shopping. A little down the same lane, an old man was selling jogging pants at an asking price of 150 rupees. As soon as he noticed hesitation on my part, he brought the price down to 125 rupees. Another woman joined us and started bargaining, asking him to sell it for 100 rupees. She walked off when he refused. The man must have been really frustrated to pour his heart out to a customer. He said that, he too, had paid 50 rupees to the constable we had seen earlier. He said that what the constable collected randomly on a daily basis, was in addition to a fixed monthly amount the vendors had to pay him to be able to sell their products.
Sure, road side selling of products is illegal but this is the only way that these men and women of all ages have to make a decent living. Corruption at such a base level, which exploits those who aren't even capable of supporting themselves, is simply inhuman and can carry no justification.
How does anyone fight a phenomenon like this? We as Indians are used to this kind of corruption, that in response to the question of what should be changed about India, someone responded ‘Nothing, India is what it is’. Sure, India has its own identity and its flaws make it look very poetic. But is mysticism worth the troubles of the common man? I know that the abolition of such social evils require mass movements, much like the one which got us our freedom. I know that this is a nearly impossible task. However, we can, at the very least, WANT to eradicate corruption? At the very least?
There I was, with my mom, shopping in the Shivajinagar bazaar in Bangalore. It was 4 o' clock in the afternoon and the area was packed with avid shoppers. The heat was unbearable so we stopped and picked up two kala khaTTa golas (Ice popsicles) which a little boy was selling for ten rupees each. Next to his stall was a man who was selling popcorn on a cart. We took our golas and moved aside to cool off. That’s when this pot bellied police constable strolled up to the man selling popcorn. He picked up a packet and in turn asked the vendor to pay him 50 rupees. The vendor smiled cordially and while indulging in small talk, stealthily handed the amount to the police man. The vendor seemed more eager to cover up this act than the law enforcer.
The constable then moved on and collected a gola and another 50 rupees from the boy selling them. All this happened in broad day light, in front of all the people present in the vicinity. What bugged me the most, was the attitude with the constable collected the bribes. He held his head high, behaved as though he was doing the vendors a favour, swinging his cane baton all the time.
The constable moved on. We finished our golas and went ahead with our shopping. A little down the same lane, an old man was selling jogging pants at an asking price of 150 rupees. As soon as he noticed hesitation on my part, he brought the price down to 125 rupees. Another woman joined us and started bargaining, asking him to sell it for 100 rupees. She walked off when he refused. The man must have been really frustrated to pour his heart out to a customer. He said that, he too, had paid 50 rupees to the constable we had seen earlier. He said that what the constable collected randomly on a daily basis, was in addition to a fixed monthly amount the vendors had to pay him to be able to sell their products.
Sure, road side selling of products is illegal but this is the only way that these men and women of all ages have to make a decent living. Corruption at such a base level, which exploits those who aren't even capable of supporting themselves, is simply inhuman and can carry no justification.
How does anyone fight a phenomenon like this? We as Indians are used to this kind of corruption, that in response to the question of what should be changed about India, someone responded ‘Nothing, India is what it is’. Sure, India has its own identity and its flaws make it look very poetic. But is mysticism worth the troubles of the common man? I know that the abolition of such social evils require mass movements, much like the one which got us our freedom. I know that this is a nearly impossible task. However, we can, at the very least, WANT to eradicate corruption? At the very least?
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Curse you! O Scheming Weather!
My parents are planning a trip to Dubai, visiting the two daughters they have there. So it goes without saying that a lot of shopping is involved. And that most of this shopping will be last minute. And that, this last minute, seems to be the most auspicious time for other urgent things to crop up!
To begin with, as I mentioned in my last post, Bangalore was having a beautiful run with the weather. Despite the havoc it caused in neighbouring states, in Bangalore, cyclone LAILA made the temperatures drop and covered the skies with lovely grey clouds. Mom and I were overjoyed of course and planned a trip to the local bazaar in Shivajinagar. Clothes, shoes, trinkets and Indian sweets (Mithai) were on the shopping list. But much to our surprise and dismay,a startling sun accompanied the shopping day morning. I am not sure if this is one of the infamous 'Murphy's Laws' but this seems to have become a norm. The day that you plan to go shopping will be the hottest, sunniest day in weeks! Also, once we got there, we realized that Shivajinagar was having ts routine power cuts, so none of the shops had their lights and fans working. And since I NEARLY swooned thrice during the trip, we had to leave have the shopping for the next day (which is today).
Now for the second possible inclusion to Mr. Murphy's Laws. Last minute tasks draw last minute invitations. And no less than invitations to a wedding! That is where we had to dash off to in the evening, the wedding reception of the granddaughter of a respectable elderly man who lives in our apartment block. It wouldn't have been so bad, if the weather hadn't decided to get all sentimental and start pouring its eyes out. It rained so hard that within half an hour, all taxis in the city were booked (it being a weekend and Bangalore being a weekend city). This meant that we would have to walk to the nearest auto-rickshaw stand (dressed in our finest apparel and jewelry) and take two of them to the a hotel, the exact location of which was known by none.
Well, at least the biryani was good. So was the gajar ka halwa.
We were supposed to go for the 'walima' (reception from the groom's side) this afternoon but considering its bright and sunny again and we still have half a shopping trip left, we decided to skip. So while I go now to have my lunch of dosas, I hope the weather will be a bit merciful and give us a cloud cover later in the evening.
But the biryani was REALLY good!
To begin with, as I mentioned in my last post, Bangalore was having a beautiful run with the weather. Despite the havoc it caused in neighbouring states, in Bangalore, cyclone LAILA made the temperatures drop and covered the skies with lovely grey clouds. Mom and I were overjoyed of course and planned a trip to the local bazaar in Shivajinagar. Clothes, shoes, trinkets and Indian sweets (Mithai) were on the shopping list. But much to our surprise and dismay,a startling sun accompanied the shopping day morning. I am not sure if this is one of the infamous 'Murphy's Laws' but this seems to have become a norm. The day that you plan to go shopping will be the hottest, sunniest day in weeks! Also, once we got there, we realized that Shivajinagar was having ts routine power cuts, so none of the shops had their lights and fans working. And since I NEARLY swooned thrice during the trip, we had to leave have the shopping for the next day (which is today).
Now for the second possible inclusion to Mr. Murphy's Laws. Last minute tasks draw last minute invitations. And no less than invitations to a wedding! That is where we had to dash off to in the evening, the wedding reception of the granddaughter of a respectable elderly man who lives in our apartment block. It wouldn't have been so bad, if the weather hadn't decided to get all sentimental and start pouring its eyes out. It rained so hard that within half an hour, all taxis in the city were booked (it being a weekend and Bangalore being a weekend city). This meant that we would have to walk to the nearest auto-rickshaw stand (dressed in our finest apparel and jewelry) and take two of them to the a hotel, the exact location of which was known by none.
Well, at least the biryani was good. So was the gajar ka halwa.
We were supposed to go for the 'walima' (reception from the groom's side) this afternoon but considering its bright and sunny again and we still have half a shopping trip left, we decided to skip. So while I go now to have my lunch of dosas, I hope the weather will be a bit merciful and give us a cloud cover later in the evening.
But the biryani was REALLY good!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Rain, Chai and Bhajjis!
God turned on all the taps in his cloud garden today and just as I complained of water shortage in namma Bangalore, it rained in torrents here!! Well, at least SOMEONE'S listening.
I grabbed the opportunity and gave the family and myself a treat! A treat of.. What else? Masala chai and bhajjis of course. The serenity of it! Being at the rooftop (the covering shed of which was blown off a few days back by the approaching cyclone LAILA), sipping hot masala tea, having a choice of potato, chilli and onion bhajjis, all the while chatting and reminiscing with the family. It is a good time, a time like this, to miss those who are not with us. To remember the good things they have done as well as the bad. Appreciating them for their sacrifices and going 'tch! tch!' over their more stupid decisions. Going over childhood stories that have been repeated several times before, at a good time like this.
Sure, we could be doing this whenever we want to yet it takes a special show by nature to give us a reason to celebrate, in our own small or big way, our failures and triumphs in life. Today, when we go back into our shells to reconsider our problems, when we sit together in front of the TV and watch Hindi soap operas that don't make sense, when I climb up the staircase and on the way to my room wish my parents 'shab bakhair' (Good night), I will send out a silent prayer to God. May he take the liberty of turning on those heavenly taps and soaking the city and our souls with an all cleansing downpour. So that we may yet again sip masala chai and have bhajjis and, if only for a hour, remember our blessings and forget our sorrows.
I wonder what YOUR chai and bhajji time is??:)
I grabbed the opportunity and gave the family and myself a treat! A treat of.. What else? Masala chai and bhajjis of course. The serenity of it! Being at the rooftop (the covering shed of which was blown off a few days back by the approaching cyclone LAILA), sipping hot masala tea, having a choice of potato, chilli and onion bhajjis, all the while chatting and reminiscing with the family. It is a good time, a time like this, to miss those who are not with us. To remember the good things they have done as well as the bad. Appreciating them for their sacrifices and going 'tch! tch!' over their more stupid decisions. Going over childhood stories that have been repeated several times before, at a good time like this.
Sure, we could be doing this whenever we want to yet it takes a special show by nature to give us a reason to celebrate, in our own small or big way, our failures and triumphs in life. Today, when we go back into our shells to reconsider our problems, when we sit together in front of the TV and watch Hindi soap operas that don't make sense, when I climb up the staircase and on the way to my room wish my parents 'shab bakhair' (Good night), I will send out a silent prayer to God. May he take the liberty of turning on those heavenly taps and soaking the city and our souls with an all cleansing downpour. So that we may yet again sip masala chai and have bhajjis and, if only for a hour, remember our blessings and forget our sorrows.
I wonder what YOUR chai and bhajji time is??:)
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Indian Blasphemy: Power cuts in Cities and villages in a nuclear country
People have been complaining of power cuts in Bangalore for over a month now. Residents go without electricity 4 to 5 times a day, 1 hour each time. I am privileged, I live in an area close to the well maintained bungalows of ministers and government officials, so I go without electricity for 2 to 3 times in a day, sometimes we even get it back within half an hour!
Recently, my husband went to visit his parents in a little town in the Satara district. At 44 degree celsius, they face a daily power cut of 6 to 8 back to back hours. With temperatures reaching record levels, even the town's people who have been used to such lengthy absences of electricity are finding it difficult to cope with the heat. A few kilometers away, in a village names Supa, his aunt's family faces AT LEAST 12 to 14 hours without electricity everyday. And you can't even call it a REMOTE village. I mean, it is easily accessible by politicians during election time.
This is happening all over India. At such a time, in one of the groups that I am associated with, a question was raised which baffled me a bit. The question was, if I could change any ONE thing about India, what would it be? The replies were about how we need to educate every single Indian, get rid of corruption and red tapism and the usual suggestions. I kept thinking, we are a country with nuclear capabilities, we have some of the greatest brains in the world here and we have thousands of crores of rupees assigned for rural development in our budget. Yet, not only our villages and towns, but even one of our most developed cities doesn't get power 24/7. It seems like a farce, claiming to be on the verge of economic dominance when we can't even provide all our citizens with something as basic as electricity.
There isn't ONE thing that India needs to fix but an entire army of similar half fulfilled duties towards its people. First, provide electricity to even the remotest village before the next elections, PLEASE. Then we can start with the 'developing' part again.
Coming soon: Water shortage :P
Recently, my husband went to visit his parents in a little town in the Satara district. At 44 degree celsius, they face a daily power cut of 6 to 8 back to back hours. With temperatures reaching record levels, even the town's people who have been used to such lengthy absences of electricity are finding it difficult to cope with the heat. A few kilometers away, in a village names Supa, his aunt's family faces AT LEAST 12 to 14 hours without electricity everyday. And you can't even call it a REMOTE village. I mean, it is easily accessible by politicians during election time.
This is happening all over India. At such a time, in one of the groups that I am associated with, a question was raised which baffled me a bit. The question was, if I could change any ONE thing about India, what would it be? The replies were about how we need to educate every single Indian, get rid of corruption and red tapism and the usual suggestions. I kept thinking, we are a country with nuclear capabilities, we have some of the greatest brains in the world here and we have thousands of crores of rupees assigned for rural development in our budget. Yet, not only our villages and towns, but even one of our most developed cities doesn't get power 24/7. It seems like a farce, claiming to be on the verge of economic dominance when we can't even provide all our citizens with something as basic as electricity.
There isn't ONE thing that India needs to fix but an entire army of similar half fulfilled duties towards its people. First, provide electricity to even the remotest village before the next elections, PLEASE. Then we can start with the 'developing' part again.
Coming soon: Water shortage :P
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